Getting rid of negativity

About a year ago i was one with so much negativity in mind. Overthinking stuff and contemplating words ive said was a before sleep activity routine for me. But now i think i change a little. Not because im in love or stuff, its more because i finally feel that i’m blessed and being grateful for lot of things. Back then i once said to one of my friend, saying that im hopeless and i dont know what to do with my life (not that im depressed or stuff, its more like i want to do more), i dont have any ambition or purpose to do in life, like im just a leaf in the river. And he said that you need to feel more grateful and you ought to go and maybe teaching people some stuff, then you’ll feel that youre so blessed. And still im denying, i keep saying, i meet patients all the time, from fake sickness to real-chronic-dying sickness, im feeling blessed already.

The thing is, when you are full with negativity, you deny all things, because by being negative you already prepared for all solutions and all the denials. Being negative make you see the negative and positive of any solution, and even you can deny and prepare the negative answer for the positive solutions. But finally i (maybe) able to get rid of this useless habit of mine. I mean i used to keep saying negative and my hatred for people (people literally, cause back then i think people was judgmental and social judgement is cruel-like when youre >25 yo you need to get married, you dont do dreaming anymore, you gotta stay in the ‘common’ people track) to one of my bf, and now she’s infected with it, and i keep looking and listening to her and its quite scary, and that maybe how horrid i was back then. Now that im feeling blessed and give thanks to Lord all the time, i can sleep early, no more overthinking, and just keep thinking ‘do good deed everyday, only by giving youll be able to receive more and i hope this last long.